Two Elves


"Why are we here?" asked the first elf.


Two Elves

     by Ken St. Andre

Two elves sat in a room with a treasure chest. Two Orks had left a few minutes ago.

“Why are we here?” asked the first elf.

“We’ve got to be somewhere,” said the second elf. “Why not be here?” He grinned.

“Don’t get metaphysical on me. I hate it when you do that.”

“But you make it so easy.”

“No, really, why are we here?”

“We’re here to guard the treasure.”

“Guard it from what?”


“Ha ha! But why are we here? The treasure doesn’t need guarding. This place is a fortress. I doubt if any thieves could ever get in there.”

“They might. Delvers sometimes come in force, and they can be tricky.”

“If any delvers are powerful enough to reach this room, I’m not going to fight with them. Are you?”

“The room only has one door. We’ll have to fight to get away.”

“Then shouldn’t we be guarding it out in the hallway where we can see people coming, and run away if we need to?”

“Our orders are to sit in here and guard it.”


Silence for several minutes.

The first elf plainly wasn’t satisfied. “But why are we guarding the treasure?”

“Because the Evil Wizard is paying us to guard it.”

“We don’t need the money that much.”

“It seemed like a good job back when we were copperless.”

“We’ve been doing this for weeks and have built up a fair amount of silver. So tell me again, why are we doing this?”

“Basically, it’s for the money.”

“You mean our pay?”

“No.” The second elf stood up, walked over to the treasure chest and opened it. HE picked through it for jewels and bright new gold pieces. He took the ones he liked and put them in his pack.

“Oh, that’s why we’re here!” exclaimed the first elf. He joined his comrade in looting the chest.

When they were finished, they closed the chest and sat back down. Conversation wandered to other topics.

Several hours later, two Orks appeared and relieved them. The two elves left… and they did not return.

The End


This story is an answer of sorts to John Wick’s Two Orks.  Or maybe it’s just a commentary on the way I see Elves . . .

Anyway, I was thinking today that  possibly the people who write these flash fictions should tell tha audience a little bit about the author.  The idea is to have flash bios to go with the flash fiction.  One sentence of less than 20 words is all you get.  I’ll start.

Ken St. Andre is a crazy game designer who used to be a crazy librarian, and thinks he can be a crazy fiction writer.

Oops! Fail.  That’s 24 words.  Try again.

Ken St. Andre thinks that trolls are people, too; or maybe people are trolls, too. 

Only 15 words.  That’s a good start.



One Comment

  1. Posted February 3, 2011 at 4:19 am | Permalink | Reply

    Ha! I hope they saved some for us trolls…

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